Let It Be A Dream

by Silver Torches

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1.
Circling the want ads From last weeks Sunday times On the two mile walk to downtown To stand in the food bank line Hungover from the ballgame Last night with some old friends Spent my last ten dollars on a pack of smokes To last me the weekend Let it be a dream Let it be a dream I’ve been waiting all my life For someone to come set me free I grew up with shit for money Mother spread herself too thin Father did his best to raise us kids And I owe it all to them But in life nothing comes easy They say talent outweighs luck You get ahead by knowing who you know No one really gives a fuck Let it be a dream Let it be a dream I’ve been waiting all my life For someone to come set me free The phone wakes me every morning But I let it sit and ring Most my calls are debt collectors From blocked numbers anyway Nothing lately makes me happy All I do is watch tv All it does is make me angry But it keeps me company Let it be a dream Let it be a dream I’ve been waiting all my life For someone to come set me free I’ve been waiting all my life For someone to come set me free
2.
I wish I could heal All the pain in the world The stitches are tearing One more crack and the dam will spill I wish I could know Whenever the fever comes Head cooked like an egg On the pavement In the blazing Arizona sun If you leave before me Don’t you know I won’t be far behind If you make your peace Before me I won’t mind Will you still decline If I reach Out my hand To you It’s hard to remember How joy used to feel Staring at the ceiling Dreaming Pretending Happiness is real It’s all an illusion We’re made to kill and eat and fuck There’s no heaven or hell waiting for us When we punch the clock If you leave before me Don’t you know I won’t be far behind If you make your peace Before me I won’t mind Will you still decline If I reach Out my hand To you
3.
I am the center of my dark little world A spark A flutter A lonely pearl Spinning my wheels I wobble and twirl Sadness is a foggy lens Like gravity It pulls me in Frail nerves Under the skin Saw a stranger In the mirror again Can you feel the fear In my voice In my tears Like a child Calling out His mother’s name? Calling her name I am a star swelled red and tender Heaving and ready to burst I’m a dog in a car Panting Dying of thirst Still my good problems Are still just problems I’m always in need Of a fix It’s the smallest things That bring me To the end of my wits Can you feel The fear In my voice In my tears Like a child calling out His mother’s name? Calling her name
4.
Struck a nerve I called you up But I got the machine I’m sorry I missed you You’ve been so hard to reach Will you meet me In the morning At your parent’s place? I will leave the car running Tell me what it takes She wore her dad’s Jersey From when he played in LA She could barely face me She had no words to say All the times we lied The things that we denied Years go by Nothing changes Every time we try All my life I’ve been waiting
5.
I’m living in my mama’s den Working night shifts now and then As a bar-back at The Lantern Friday night I’m taking change Down to the coin star to exchange For pocket money at the tavern The conversation’s dull and dry But I’m still here and getting by On the same old routine pattern Always drunk Aways high One more promise Another lie I don’t want to pretend anymore I’m getting older every day Still waiting for the sea to change For a chance to make things better Chasing that elusive dream I had when I was seventeen When my future was unfettered I can’t bear To let it go I wanna leave With something to show I don’t want to pretend anymore I’m still holding on to something beautiful I can’t explain to you or anyone why I’m searching for a sign of something meaningful To make this all worthwhile I don’t want to pretend anymore
6.
03:06
Late at night I feel so strange sometimes I get bored when I’m alone In this studio apartment The walls are bare My bed is cold So I step down Rainier Avenue Pick a six pack off the shelf At the bar-windowed bodega I want to feel like someone else I’m no church raised boy Left unemployed In a rust belt county line So fearful of what’s invisible Feeling like he's left behind At the bar I’m trading insults With someone looking for a fight I’ve got half a heart to take things One step too far this time He can’t change my mind With his false news wisdom We are not aligned White knuckled fist Bearing teeth and pissed I get the gist Walk away And let it all pass by I stumble home angry and broken And sift through an old suitcase Find some photographs of Brooklyn A trip to Portland, Maine I get stoned to bring my mood up Raise my spirit from the dirt I have half a heart to call you But I’m scared of getting hurt I have half a heart to call you But I’m scared of getting hurt
7.
04:45
Ive been thinking About you and I About what made us happy Time we said goodbye I’ve got my reasons And in my own time I may ask you forgiveness But tonight ain’t the night I can't lie I can’t lie to myself anymore I can’t lie I can’t keep working love like a chore It’s three in the morning And I reach for a drink But the bottle is empty Hurts me just to think That you had your reasons And I thought I had mine If I ask you forgiveness Would that be a crime? I can't lie I can’t lie to myself anymore I can’t lie I can’t keep working love like a chore If sadness is a luxury I’m living like a king I don’t know what is right today When whiskey don’t cure a thing I’ve been dreaming About you and I About what made us happy I wanna give you a try I can't lie I can’t lie to myself anymore I can’t lie I can’t keep working love like a chore
8.
It’s too hot to sleep in this third floor tenement I’ve been up all night clinging on to sentiment I’ve soaked the sheets straight through to the box spring Been years since I’ve had anything better than Eighty hour weeks on end just to get by Born work and die I’m not living I am just treading water to stay afloat And I’m watching myself grow old in the mirror To vanish with nothing to show Nothing to show Back when you got sick in the middle of July Pill bottles and bills on the floor and piled high Said if things got worse I’d sell the house and pick up Where the insurance checks don’t add up I’ll bear teeth or lose the fight I’m not living I am just treading water to stay afloat And i’m watching myself grow old in the mirror To vanish with nothing to show Nothing to show There’s no running from this 
There’s no running from this There’s no running from it There’s not running from it I’m not living I am just treading water to stay afloat And i’m watching myself grow old in the mirror To vanish with nothing to show Nothing to show
9.
02:40
Bartender May I borrow the phone I need to call my mother Waiting up for me at home Tell her I’m alright That I’m coming back around I just needed some more time To sift and sort the bullshit out Bartender Change the station on TV I can’t fucking stand to watch the news While I sit here and drink Can't you tell It’s why I'm here in the first place I went blue running my mouth Weren’t you listening? I’m so tired of feeling alone I’m so tired of sleeping alone I’m so tired of drinking alone I’m so tired Bartender Just give me one more pour I’m headed back to Auburn I can’t drive with any more There’s DUI patrols out On the road again tonight I guess I’ll take a chance on it This time This time

credits

released October 6, 2017

Produced by Andy D Park
Music by Silver Torches
Lyrics by Erik Walters

Recorded at Studio X | Hall of Justice | The Biltmore in Seattle, WA
Additional tracking at Bob Thiele's studio in Los Angeles, CA

Mixed at Studio X
Masted by Ed Brooks - Resonant Mastering
Assistant Engineering by Samuel Rosson

Cover photo and design by Erik Walters
Liner photos by Brenna Nickels

Erik Walters - Vocals | Guitars | Bass | Synthesizer
Sean Lane - Drums | Percussion | Bike
Andy Park - Mixing | Engineering | Piano | Synth | String Arrangements
Jonathan Warman - Bass | Guitars | Synthesizer
Greg Leisz - Pedal Steel
Courtney Marie Andrews - Vocals
Noah Gundersen - Vocals
Abby Gundersen - Strings | String Arrangements

© 2017 Erik J. Walters - All Rights Reserved
Publishing administered by Rough Trade Songs (BMI)

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