1. |
Let It Be A Dream
03:40
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Circling the want ads
From last weeks Sunday times
On the two mile walk to downtown
To stand in the food bank line
Hungover from the ballgame
Last night with some old friends
Spent my last ten dollars on a pack of smokes
To last me the weekend
Let it be a dream
Let it be a dream
I’ve been waiting all my life
For someone to come set me free
I grew up with shit for money
Mother spread herself too thin
Father did his best to raise us kids
And I owe it all to them
But in life nothing comes easy
They say talent outweighs luck
You get ahead by knowing who you know
No one really gives a fuck
Let it be a dream
Let it be a dream
I’ve been waiting all my life
For someone to come set me free
The phone wakes me every morning
But I let it sit and ring
Most my calls are debt collectors
From blocked numbers anyway
Nothing lately makes me happy
All I do is watch tv
All it does is make me angry
But it keeps me company
Let it be a dream
Let it be a dream
I’ve been waiting all my life
For someone to come set me free
I’ve been waiting all my life
For someone to come set me free
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2. |
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I wish I could heal
All the pain in the world
The stitches are tearing
One more crack and the dam will spill
I wish I could know
Whenever the fever comes
Head cooked like an egg
On the pavement
In the blazing
Arizona sun
If you leave before me
Don’t you know
I won’t be far behind
If you make your peace
Before me
I won’t mind
Will you still decline
If I reach
Out my hand
To you
It’s hard to remember
How joy used to feel
Staring at the ceiling
Dreaming
Pretending
Happiness is real
It’s all an illusion
We’re made to kill and eat and fuck
There’s no heaven or hell waiting for us
When we punch the clock
If you leave before me
Don’t you know
I won’t be far behind
If you make your peace
Before me
I won’t mind
Will you still decline
If I reach
Out my hand
To you
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3. |
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I am the center of my dark little world
A spark
A flutter
A lonely pearl
Spinning my wheels
I wobble and twirl
Sadness is a foggy lens
Like gravity
It pulls me in
Frail nerves
Under the skin
Saw a stranger
In the mirror again
Can you feel the fear
In my voice
In my tears
Like a child
Calling out
His mother’s name?
Calling her name
I am a star swelled red and tender
Heaving and ready to burst
I’m a dog in a car
Panting
Dying of thirst
Still my good problems
Are still just problems
I’m always in need
Of a fix
It’s the smallest things
That bring me
To the end of my wits
Can you feel
The fear
In my voice
In my tears
Like a child calling out
His mother’s name?
Calling her name
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4. |
Keep The Car Running
02:56
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Struck a nerve
I called you up
But I got the machine
I’m sorry I missed you
You’ve been so hard to reach
Will you meet me
In the morning
At your parent’s place?
I will leave the car running
Tell me what it takes
She wore her dad’s Jersey
From when he played in LA
She could barely face me
She had no words to say
All the times we lied
The things that we denied
Years go by
Nothing changes
Every time we try
All my life
I’ve been waiting
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5. |
At The Lantern
04:10
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I’m living in my mama’s den
Working night shifts now and then
As a bar-back at The Lantern
Friday night I’m taking change
Down to the coin star to exchange
For pocket money at the tavern
The conversation’s dull and dry
But I’m still here and getting by
On the same old routine pattern
Always drunk
Aways high
One more promise
Another lie
I don’t want to pretend anymore
I’m getting older every day
Still waiting for the sea to change
For a chance to make things better
Chasing that elusive dream
I had when I was seventeen
When my future was unfettered
I can’t bear
To let it go
I wanna leave
With something to show
I don’t want to pretend anymore
I’m still holding on to something beautiful
I can’t explain to you or anyone why
I’m searching for a sign of something meaningful
To make this all worthwhile
I don’t want to pretend anymore
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6. |
Half A Heart
03:06
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Late at night
I feel so strange sometimes
I get bored when I’m alone
In this studio apartment
The walls are bare
My bed is cold
So I step down Rainier Avenue
Pick a six pack off the shelf
At the bar-windowed bodega
I want to feel like someone else
I’m no church raised boy
Left unemployed
In a rust belt county line
So fearful of what’s invisible
Feeling like he's left behind
At the bar
I’m trading insults
With someone looking for a fight
I’ve got half a heart to take things
One step too far this time
He can’t change my mind
With his false news wisdom
We are not aligned
White knuckled fist
Bearing teeth and pissed
I get the gist
Walk away
And let it all pass by
I stumble home angry and broken
And sift through an old suitcase
Find some photographs of Brooklyn
A trip to Portland, Maine
I get stoned to bring my mood up
Raise my spirit from the dirt
I have half a heart to call you
But I’m scared of getting hurt
I have half a heart to call you
But I’m scared of getting hurt
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7. |
I Can't Lie
04:45
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Ive been thinking
About you and I
About what made us happy
Time we said goodbye
I’ve got my reasons
And in my own time
I may ask you forgiveness
But tonight ain’t the night
I can't lie
I can’t lie to myself anymore
I can’t lie
I can’t keep working love like a chore
It’s three in the morning
And I reach for a drink
But the bottle is empty
Hurts me just to think
That you had your reasons
And I thought I had mine
If I ask you forgiveness
Would that be a crime?
I can't lie
I can’t lie to myself anymore
I can’t lie
I can’t keep working love like a chore
If sadness is a luxury
I’m living like a king
I don’t know what is right today
When whiskey don’t cure a thing
I’ve been dreaming
About you and I
About what made us happy
I wanna give you a try
I can't lie
I can’t lie to myself anymore
I can’t lie
I can’t keep working love like a chore
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8. |
Nothing To Show
04:58
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It’s too hot to sleep in this third floor tenement
I’ve been up all night clinging on to sentiment
I’ve soaked the sheets straight through to the box spring
Been years since I’ve had anything better than
Eighty hour weeks on end just to get by
Born work and die
I’m not living
I am just treading water to stay afloat
And I’m watching myself grow old in the mirror
To vanish with nothing to show
Nothing to show
Back when you got sick in the middle of July
Pill bottles and bills on the floor and piled high
Said if things got worse I’d sell the house and pick up
Where the insurance checks don’t add up
I’ll bear teeth or lose the fight
I’m not living
I am just treading water to stay afloat
And i’m watching myself grow old in the mirror
To vanish with nothing to show
Nothing to show
There’s no running from this
There’s no running from this
There’s no running from it
There’s not running from it
I’m not living
I am just treading water to stay afloat
And i’m watching myself grow old in the mirror
To vanish with nothing to show
Nothing to show
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9. |
Bartender
02:40
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Bartender
May I borrow the phone
I need to call my mother
Waiting up for me at home
Tell her I’m alright
That I’m coming back around
I just needed some more time
To sift and sort the bullshit out
Bartender
Change the station on TV
I can’t fucking stand to watch the news
While I sit here and drink
Can't you tell
It’s why I'm here in the first place
I went blue running my mouth
Weren’t you listening?
I’m so tired of feeling alone
I’m so tired of sleeping alone
I’m so tired of drinking alone
I’m so tired
Bartender
Just give me one more pour
I’m headed back to Auburn
I can’t drive with any more
There’s DUI patrols out
On the road again tonight
I guess I’ll take a chance on it
This time
This time
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